Chameleons

"Who do you want me to be?"
(I'll do it long enough to hook you!)

A narcissist will portray themselves as an expert, a super hero,

a successful person in any field broached in a discussion. But

don't subscribe to it; they're anything but objective or honest.

They follow their own agenda.

Even kindness is a ruse.

"It was like he knew what I was thinking; he said all the things

I wanted to hear."

Psychologically anticipating and then meeting  a need is
a specialty of the sociopath. You are  a tool to be used...
and if you see through their ruse then they will look to
elict empathy by playing the sympathy card, or try and
control you by raging and/or shaming you.

Whatever tools they can use, they will. Any means to an end.
That's all a human being--and their emotions--are to a socio.

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The Perfect Machine

Don't hate the playah....hate the game...right?

Objectively looking at what a narcissist accomplishes,
and completely disregarding the carnage they leave in
their wake, one can see the draw to give in to the
behavior.

Just like a shark, never tiring, always hunting, always
moving, ever the efficient killing machine, there is a
natural ease and magnificence to what the narcissist
is able to do.

If you look at life in terms of survival of the fittest and
competition, then a narcissist is a true marvel.

It's only when attempting to be sociable and civilized
that an NPD's traits come into conflict.

If we disregard character and humanity all together,
we can see that the narcissist mentality and lifestyle
is actually quite desirable and praise-worthy.

*********************************************

Why Victims of Narcissists Can't Let Go

No better voice for the malignant narcissist than one who is.

(Narcissists are so loathe to admit who they are, or share their
secrets, so having Sam reveal the underbelly is quite helpful.

He says so much more succinctly--and directly--about what it
means to deal with getting beyond the lasting toxicity and
confusion brought on by a narcissist,  even after the relationship
is over.

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All The Rage

In recent years, popular culture has glamorized the
sociopath and narcissist to extreme levels, just as
prior generations lauded and idolized mobsters, cops,
drug dealers, and bank robbers.


Characters on shows such as Dexter, The Shield,
Breaking Bad, Rescue Me, The Sopranos, The Tudors,
and others have captured the imagination of the nation.


Cheering on the villain, especially those like serial killers
and emotionless murderers, rapists, and torturers, seems
the new norm. Remorselessness is in vogue.


Are people simply fascinated?
Fantasizing?
Wanting to emulate and become tougher themselves?


Despite not being able to switch gears and 'become' a
sociopath, is the recent influx in sociopathic and narcissistic
behavior somehow reflective of the culture fascination....a
reflection of a changing moral code? Or are people merely
mimicking what they perceive as power?


Perhaps cultural changes have resulted in an increase in actual
sociopathic tendencies and the TV and movie mediums are
merely accommodating that thirst for like images.

Regardless, life imitates art, and art imitates life, and a love
of inhuman behavior can never lead to any good.

***************************************************

Cross Hairs

Sociopaths take a long time to figure out and recognize
for what they truly are.

They're cunning, patient...working long-range plans
with people. They're seductive and hard to read.

They're chameleons, and master liars.
They see right through to the heart of most folks,
employing psycholgical tactics and saying what we
want to hear... playing us like a banjo.

They distract you with their alluring charm, and they
don't wear emotions on their sleeves (if in fact they
have any.)

Their whole purpose is to use you..and they're quite
skilled at it. They've spent their whole lives in an inner
world of preparing and observing for how to manipulate
others and get what they want.

They actually get a joy from not only making fools of
people (and thus feeling superior,) but from any response
of pain that results.

Once you realize you're in their sights, it's probably quite
late in the game.

**********************************************

Distortions-R-Us

Narcissists and sociopaths manufacture a fictitious
world for themselves by which they try and manipulate
and impress everyone they meet. They are pathological
liars and crave attention, respect, and admiration.


Barring that, they can become vicious and hostile.
People who don't give them 100% praise and adoration
are their 'enemies.'


They promote a lie of their self that no one can compete
with, and they do it so convincingly that you believe it.
Anything you have done, they've done better, more often,
or with a celebrity. Or, to bring you down, they'll critique
how you did it, shoot holes in anything you say, or ignore
you and act unimpressed. This is what makes them feel
complete.


There is no room in a narcissist's world for anyone but them.


They put on a play where they are supra-human in their
abilities, their knowledge, their reach, their achievements.
No one can contend or compete with this illusion, but the
charm of a narcissist--and their complete immersion into the
lie--causes people to buy into their lies.


Sociopaths would rather be praised for lies than take a chance
on how people will respond to the real them. Also, once a
web of deceit has been woven, it's inconceivable to let anyone
find out about it. The orchestrated lies are ingrained and very
intricately kept up with; they rule a narcissist's world.


A narcissist's whole reason for being is tied up in showing
up everyone around them. They do this through a variety
of methods; if they can't convince you they're super-human
so as to impress you, they'll ignore you to try and make you
feel insignificant, or they'll run you down to try and crush your
spirit and esteem.


All the while smiling and acting as if they're not doing so!


It's hard to keep your run-in with a narcissist not turn you
off of the whole of humanity. The ordeal is so numbing and
unbelievable that you feel burned on every level.


But in the end, the reality is that these folks are the worst of
the worst; they are not indicative of people in general.


Learn to be more cautious, less credulous, less open to others'
emotions--either negative or positive.

Nothing is as it Seems

A narcissist works on lies, myths, illusions;

they lie from the ground up,

or they distort what actually is.

They see right through you and everyone

else; they know what makes us tick and they use

that information to pull sway.

They psychologically decimate others--

but surreptitiously, never obvious, so

as to avoid suspicion and make you doubt

yourself, never them.

(And they do target the people they

think they have the best chance of

working over to do their worst work.)

Hell, they can even convince you they're

a good person who cares about you

while they're instilling doubt and undermining you.

That kind of insidiousness is what gives them joy.

(Don't feel bad; this is what they do,

it's what they're good at.

Most people fall prey to their lies.

Think of these people like a super-virus;

even the healthiest person's body isn't

strong enough to stand up to the illness!)

Just like a virus, the entry is

undetected. The takeover is slow

and insidious; you don't even know you're

sick til your feverish and falling over.

It's too late to prevent--

you now have to purge.

The only cure for a sociopath is to get them out of

your head, your life, your surroundings.

That's the only cure; you can't make them

well or change them, but

you can make yourself well by

getting rid of them.

Most importantly, as the

great Benjamin Franklin said,

"Believe none of what you hear,

and half of what you see."

With a narcissist, don't believe

a god damned thing you see, hear, or think.

They've specially targeted everything

they do, say, and act to seduce and use

you. They know what your Achilles'

heel is. Beware.

***