"Vanity, thy Name is Lying-Sack-of-Shit!"

"It's all about the money, baby!"

***

Torn Up

A confidence man is an exquisite study in self-sufficient organisms.
They take a person's own fears, desires, and other personal innermost aspects--
the pieces of your most basic nature, your soul--and use them as ammunition
against that person, their target.

In a sense, you're at war with yourself.
They stimulate a place in you that has never been touched--an intimacy
unparalleled--so that it not only a deeply private matter you want kept hidden,
but the embarrassment at being used in such a way is intense.

That's the violation; they prey on the innermost subliminal feelings,
and once they achieve what they want, you are left once again alone,
but feeling the loss of that false promise.

They put you in touch with your dreams, believing in the possibility,
having primal desires awakened,...and then you're left holding a bill
of goods.

But the precision of the predatory assessment, the execution, the
detachment from the sickness of what's done and the absolute dedication
to one's own survival at all costs is an admirable quality within the
sociopath. Surely there is something to be learned from dissecting their
methodology and drive, so we might become more adept at survival
ourselves.

Ruthlessness may not necessarily be a learned skill, but it's for
damned sure a useful one. At the very least, we have to stop beating
ourselves up...or allowing others to do so.

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Definition of a Sociopath

Mitt Romney: Angry Under Pressure

Angry. Self-important. Arrogant. Demanding. Pedantic.
Grandiose. Condescending. Dismissive. Rude. Oblivious.

"I know what's best."

"Why won't you do what I want?"

"Are you not smart enough to defer to me?"

"You need to do it my way and then I'll be calm."

Get ready for the powder keg to go off...and this
was just the job interview. Sociopathy in action,
and NO grace under pressure. Be afraid.

Change is in the Err

A person can't feel badly for their actions towards you
(or your response to mistreatment) if they have no conscience.

They can't empathize with pain you feel in general, either...nor
be interested in what's important to you, apologize for oversights
or infractions, give support, be sincere, or provide any other normal
human response you'd find in a real relationship.

Stop wasting time trying to get attention, concern, affection,
apologies, or satisfaction from such a person.

A rock can't give blood. Forget all the fairy tales and romantic
notions regarding teaching people how to open up, love, or
otherwise respond positively to care and compassion.

Give the things you need to yourself.
No one else will care a fig for your hurt feelings, your broken
heart, your ego, or your losses.

I need to learn to stop caring so much about others and their
thoughts, rejections, slings and arrows.

I also need to stop feeling emotions as deeply as I tend to,
and as readily as I do.

Wearing my emotions on my sleeve has led to me being a target,
and so the fault weighs on me too. If I want things to be different,
I must change what is bringing about the problem. I can't afford to
be compassionate, naive, ignorant, or accepting.

I need a little more healthy distance between me and my heart.

Some would say that's excessive; that I'm allowing bad experience and
careless people impact me negatively. But, you can't keep repeating
the same mistakes, following the same patterns in life. Life is change.
Growth. Transforming based on what you interact with. Life is not ideal,
in any sense of the world.

I'm evolving as a result of my insights gained through these relations.
I can use all things for my own good--and feeling badly about what
happened changes nothing.

You're either a predator or a victim in this world, and I'm damned
tired of being a victim.

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