Sympathy for the Devil

Grown men as sniveling hurt victims

(Tip of the hat to fellow blogger Ben for the title! Check out his
blog "Sympathy for the Devil" in my faves!)

Sociopaths will engage in two tactics (or variations thereof) in
order to create a sympathetic persona for themselves. As always
the purpose is to manipulate others and draw them into the fold.

The first type of tactic is to completely invent a scenario that they
will attribute to themselves, one they will claim as a real happening
in their life. The bit of history (or current issue) will have such
excruciatingly detailed nuances that questioning its origins will
never occur to most.

Socios are master liars, but they will sometimes borrow from
works of fiction in order to maintain a plausible story. Hell, they
probably get an extra thrill from doing so as it would mean they
were pulling one over on someone even more because the mark
didn't pick up on a classic tale.

The second method of garnering people's affection is to take a
minor, insignificant (but real) experience from their past and play
it up as traumatic and heartbreaking. They use the tools they have
gathered from observing people with actual emotions and merge
them with the non-issue to manufacture a sense of gravitas for
themselves.

All of this is designed to draw empathy from the people around
them, maybe help them to fit in a little more with this sympathetic
tale. It's all about the end game with these guys, and they're ever
planning its arrival. When we think people are hurting, we tend to
let down our guard and feel more at ease with them.

With a sociopath and narcissist, that's like inviting the vampire
into your home.

**********************************************

Change is in the Err

A person can't feel badly for their actions towards you
(or your response to mistreatment) if they have no conscience.

They can't empathize with pain you feel in general, either...nor
be interested in what's important to you, apologize for oversights
or infractions, give support, be sincere, or provide any other normal
human response you'd find in a real relationship.

Stop wasting time trying to get attention, concern, affection,
apologies, or satisfaction from such a person.

A rock can't give blood. Forget all the fairy tales and romantic
notions regarding teaching people how to open up, love, or
otherwise respond positively to care and compassion.

Give the things you need to yourself.
No one else will care a fig for your hurt feelings, your broken
heart, your ego, or your losses.

I need to learn to stop caring so much about others and their
thoughts, rejections, slings and arrows.

I also need to stop feeling emotions as deeply as I tend to,
and as readily as I do.

Wearing my emotions on my sleeve has led to me being a target,
and so the fault weighs on me too. If I want things to be different,
I must change what is bringing about the problem. I can't afford to
be compassionate, naive, ignorant, or accepting.

I need a little more healthy distance between me and my heart.

Some would say that's excessive; that I'm allowing bad experience and
careless people impact me negatively. But, you can't keep repeating
the same mistakes, following the same patterns in life. Life is change.
Growth. Transforming based on what you interact with. Life is not ideal,
in any sense of the world.

I'm evolving as a result of my insights gained through these relations.
I can use all things for my own good--and feeling badly about what
happened changes nothing.

You're either a predator or a victim in this world, and I'm damned
tired of being a victim.

***********************************************