Learn to Love Yourself

A Perfect Fit

Sociopaths tend towards spousal and child abuse (when they

have set their sights on long-term relationships.) Since their own

needs reign supreme, they have no interest in the needs of

others, making the escalation to emotional and physical abuse

an easy one.

They're unaware of and unconcerned with others, and they can

justify their own actions at every turn.

And, after having committed an act of abuse, they utilize the victim's

own codependency--which they depended on to manipulate their

vic into a vulnerable position to begin with--to convince them that

they were to blame!

The predator convinces his/her vic that the socio's needs trump the

pain and hurt of the victim. The sense of superiority and deservedness

of the sociopath is reestablished, and the socio continues to rule the

roost...while the vic walks on eggshells and caters to their ego.

Breaking free of the socio's stranglehold on

the vic's thinking, actions, and perspective is

necessary before the vic(s) can then take action

to distance themselves and escape the cycle of abuse.

***

'Grease' is The Word



"I consider myself less of a 'lying sack of shit' and
more of a consummate 'people pleaser.'"

Socios are successful because of one important tactic; telling  people
what they want to hear. Making them feel good so they're more easily
used...open to the socio's machinations.

A seemingly innocuous--and even desirable--helpful quality, if it
were more than a means to its own end. But it's the turning of the
worm with these folks.

Like all calculations, it's designed to fatten up the pig before
leading it to slaughter. To manipulate and draw in the target as
part of the machinations, long term and deliberate.

The more desirable and ebullient the socio makes themselves,
the more people desire to be in their presence....to trust them...
to want to be around them.

Whether the sociopath is sporting a lie or the absolute truth,
whether they believe the words falling out of their mouth or
disagree vehemently, it makes no difference. It's all about the
usage of words (or emotions or ideas) to create what's needed
for their ultimate plan.

And you can bet it doesn't involve the interests of anyone else.

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Suited for the Part

One of the most basic parts of a sociopath is that they can

'read' and suss out people--figure what makes them work,

and thereby what will also motivate them and control them.

This skill makes them great assets in fields such as managing

political campaigns, controlling offices filled with workers

(peons), and running death camps.

They can also just as easily get high on power working in

community affairs, heading up committees and being coaches

for ball teams or being on boards. Because they're willing to

take on jobs no one else wants with such gusto, there is a

good bit of having their way with the rules, since others are

unwilling to step in and take over.

And power--however much or little it may be--is the true desire

of someone who already feels they deserve to be in control

of other human beings....and will say and do anything to

get in a position to use it.

******************************************

Drawn Badly

Anotherr trait of those of us drawn to (and targeted by)

a socio or narc is someone so scarred by past hurt that

we seek out (either consciously or subconsciously) the

affections of those not capable of giving them.

There is a safety in being drawn to the unattainable and

emotionally standoffish that our self-protection seeks out.

 ***

"Zero. Zero Fucks Given."

Kids who pretend to be Trayvon Martin,

dead on the ground...as a 'joke.'

Kids who witness--and participate in--rape

and then pass the film of said rape around

like a chain e-mail. And justify their actions.

And express outrage at being inconvenienced

by legal actions brought about by their evil.

Kids who spend more time desensitizing on a

p.c. than dealing with other humans.

Who relish the bloodthirsty actions of a

game, and watch deadly images endlessly

at a time when the judgement centers of their

brains haven't developed.

Harassment and bullying and deception

via social media tools. Playing with people's emotions,

'catfishing,' fake-flirting with lonely kids,

spreading rumors.

Thugs. Rapists. Connivers. Cheats.

Assailants. Murderers. Torturers.

Excessive and dangerous 'pranks.'

Remorselessness.

Apathy.

This is our culture, now; our new normal.

It's who we--en masse-- have become, even as the

polar  opposite facade of being

well-mannered and socially well-connected

is maintained.

This is how we live; A world of sick, duplicitous,

self-condoning, mercenary, shameless, excuse-

making, justify-my-shit-at-all-costs world of disgusting

liars and thieves.

Coddled endlessly, given access to

everything, exposed to all manner of depravity--and,

conversely, neglected and unsupervised by equally

self-absorbed care-givers who are not developing

and exhibiting nurturing, caring traits.

IN a world devoid of personal connection,

how could we expect any other result to

manifest?

***

Just Rewards



"Strap yourself in, ya tired old bitch!
I've got Nine whole god damned
Circles in this fiery inferno to
give you the tour of!
Who knew conservative politics
was the wrong way to go!?!?"

www.GeorgiaUnity.blogspot.com



Wheel Keeps on Spinning



The Wheel of Life

 People who say hopeful and blissful and meditative silly shit
like "Let's focus on the good in the world," and "Nobody's all
bad," or "so-and-so is just misunderstood," or "There's hope for
the human race," do NOT feel that way or say those things
because they really believe it or because it's true.

They say them because if we acknowledge in our inner self the
true sick, twisted, depraved, reprobate, decrepit nature of
this race of vulturous, duplicitous, sacks of shit we are, we'd all
be too god damned depressed and suicidal to go on or function.

And it's the ones who act the nicest or the most above-it-all
that you most have to watch out for. The inability to trust or
believe or have faith in those who are selling a positive image
that we believe in is some soul-devouring shit. So most keep
believing the lies even after they've been proven false.

We just so desperately need a beautiful lie, a false promise to
hold onto. Thieves, con men, sadists, crazy people; that's
what this world offers. But those guys are not the ones who
take you by surprise; mostly you see them coming. It's the ones
who smile and cajole and play the friend or show compassion
as a lover that gain special access to do the most damage.

And there's enough variety of insidious bullshit that you can live a
hundred years and not see all the many ways it hides and manifests
itself. Which is of course why people gloss over it...ignore it....
make light of it....and frame it as pardonable, insignificant, and
harmonious, changeable.

Cuz it sure as shit ain't...and that's a deal breaker.

Ironies

A sociopath

has the ability to

impress folks

with the idea of

being better than

two people...

while in truth

ending up being

only half a person.

***

Blood in the Water



"You like me...you really like me!"

 The issue in dealing with sociopaths and narcissists can't merely
consist of being aware of them and avoiding them.

Those of us drawn to and drawn in by these folks have to recalibrate
our internal engines; there is typically something inherent in us that
brings the calculating trolls running to our doors.

Some of the traits that tend to belong to us, otherwise known as
'victims' or targets for the narcs and socios;

*People who need to be needed, who get a part of their needs met
by having a role or being of use to others

*People who are lonely or emotionally needy; who have done without
affection in the past

*People who have been abused or in abusive relationships (as we are
always more inclined to accept and overlook abuse; even, often, to
be drawn to it)

*People who have poor boundaries, who have not learned to stand up
for themselves

*People who have issues with codependency (wanting someone else
to make them feel complete, obsession with others, eternally lonely and
deferring to others)

*People who care more about others' feelings than their own (No, this
is NOT a positive attribute, despite what they drilled into you in Sunday
school!)

To truly combat against outside abuses, we have to be aware of our
inner landscape and make the necessary changes to reshape the parts
of us that are self geared for self-preservation.

It's entirely possible, and we are certainly worth the effort.
I made the necessary changes, and so can you.

*****************************************************

Sympathy for the Devil

Grown men as sniveling hurt victims

(Tip of the hat to fellow blogger Ben for the title! Check out his
blog "Sympathy for the Devil" in my faves!)

Sociopaths will engage in two tactics (or variations thereof) in
order to create a sympathetic persona for themselves. As always
the purpose is to manipulate others and draw them into the fold.

The first type of tactic is to completely invent a scenario that they
will attribute to themselves, one they will claim as a real happening
in their life. The bit of history (or current issue) will have such
excruciatingly detailed nuances that questioning its origins will
never occur to most.

Socios are master liars, but they will sometimes borrow from
works of fiction in order to maintain a plausible story. Hell, they
probably get an extra thrill from doing so as it would mean they
were pulling one over on someone even more because the mark
didn't pick up on a classic tale.

The second method of garnering people's affection is to take a
minor, insignificant (but real) experience from their past and play
it up as traumatic and heartbreaking. They use the tools they have
gathered from observing people with actual emotions and merge
them with the non-issue to manufacture a sense of gravitas for
themselves.

All of this is designed to draw empathy from the people around
them, maybe help them to fit in a little more with this sympathetic
tale. It's all about the end game with these guys, and they're ever
planning its arrival. When we think people are hurting, we tend to
let down our guard and feel more at ease with them.

With a sociopath and narcissist, that's like inviting the vampire
into your home.

**********************************************

It's Not Unusual

When you tell the truth about someone who's evil,
it's not a matter like in the movies where everyone
cheers and heads start nodding in affirmative approval.

The person you confront doesn't say "You're right," and
set about correcting the issues.

There are no apologies, no deep and burning turning
around of one's life because of the public embarrassment.
No introspection and curiosity about how to join a
commune and make restitution.

No, in Reality, confronted con men DENY.

They dig their heels in deeper on their stories.
They act as if the revealer is the immoral one, and they set
about destroying your reputation and relationships with new
elaborate lies and shadow campaigns.

They funnel their rage at being caught into undermining your
credibility and inventing more sweeping manipulations to
sucker people. Coming clean does not occur to them.

Exposure turns sociopaths and narcissists into trapped
beasts, and that leads to rabid crazy-making. (Yes, moreso
than usual.)

They make your truth-telling into a 'patently absurd attack' and
are then, 'rightfully' filled with righteous indignation, they resent
and blame and get bombastic. They bully and intimidate and
threaten. They put up such great appearances to continue and
recommit to their lies that people think you must surely be out
of your mind.

So be wary of trying to topple one....
Even what should be their defeat they can turn their way.

Gin Wigmore - "Man Like That"

Nothing like a cautionary tale with a rocking beat and a happening video!

*******************************************************

Trending

We are a nation of salesmen, liars, frauds, cons, cheats, and manipulators.
Lacking civility and integrity, it's every man for themselves... but with a cover story
of the 'great Christian nation' (so long as that will get you somewhere.)

A skewed sense of ego, expectation, nerve, bravado, and privilege;
the worst of the worst getting away with all manner of criminal pursuits
in between Cheshire cat photo ops and charity cover-ups.

The hubris of immoral thieves and dirt bags, loudly demanding and intimidating
with their thuggish tactics coupled with a disconnect from objective reality.
We are spawning sociopaths as our main export, and that's a short-term
'gain' that will definitely come back to bite us in the ass.

***

Sell That Story!

Quickly, without forethought, answer the following;

Is this a picture of terrorism or collateral damage?

What's the difference in the two?

What you were told to think about it.

Just like our country's leaders  have the ability to

spin things and make their own reality out of life

(many a narcissist present in that group, surely)

so too is a socio masterfully manipulative in the way

they do a PR job on everyone in their radius.

No matter what's in front of your eyes, they

skillfully convince you to see what they wish.

There, there,...that's a good little sheep.

We have to learn to break the spell and

resist the charms; think for ourselves and not

be swayed by the propaganda.

Everybody's pushing a story...and

a story is just what it is.

When it looks dangerous and destructive,

why would you allow yourself to think

any other way about something?

***

Perspective

Dastardly Bastards never see

themselves as the bad guys;

they're just unjustly vilified folks

who are misunderstood.

Don't let their lack of remorse

or conscience fool you

to the facts of their deeds.

***

"Vanity, thy Name is Lying-Sack-of-Shit!"

"It's all about the money, baby!"

***

Torn Up

A confidence man is an exquisite study in self-sufficient organisms.
They take a person's own fears, desires, and other personal innermost aspects--
the pieces of your most basic nature, your soul--and use them as ammunition
against that person, their target.

In a sense, you're at war with yourself.
They stimulate a place in you that has never been touched--an intimacy
unparalleled--so that it not only a deeply private matter you want kept hidden,
but the embarrassment at being used in such a way is intense.

That's the violation; they prey on the innermost subliminal feelings,
and once they achieve what they want, you are left once again alone,
but feeling the loss of that false promise.

They put you in touch with your dreams, believing in the possibility,
having primal desires awakened,...and then you're left holding a bill
of goods.

But the precision of the predatory assessment, the execution, the
detachment from the sickness of what's done and the absolute dedication
to one's own survival at all costs is an admirable quality within the
sociopath. Surely there is something to be learned from dissecting their
methodology and drive, so we might become more adept at survival
ourselves.

Ruthlessness may not necessarily be a learned skill, but it's for
damned sure a useful one. At the very least, we have to stop beating
ourselves up...or allowing others to do so.

**********************************************

Definition of a Sociopath

Change is in the Err

A person can't feel badly for their actions towards you
(or your response to mistreatment) if they have no conscience.

They can't empathize with pain you feel in general, either...nor
be interested in what's important to you, apologize for oversights
or infractions, give support, be sincere, or provide any other normal
human response you'd find in a real relationship.

Stop wasting time trying to get attention, concern, affection,
apologies, or satisfaction from such a person.

A rock can't give blood. Forget all the fairy tales and romantic
notions regarding teaching people how to open up, love, or
otherwise respond positively to care and compassion.

Give the things you need to yourself.
No one else will care a fig for your hurt feelings, your broken
heart, your ego, or your losses.

I need to learn to stop caring so much about others and their
thoughts, rejections, slings and arrows.

I also need to stop feeling emotions as deeply as I tend to,
and as readily as I do.

Wearing my emotions on my sleeve has led to me being a target,
and so the fault weighs on me too. If I want things to be different,
I must change what is bringing about the problem. I can't afford to
be compassionate, naive, ignorant, or accepting.

I need a little more healthy distance between me and my heart.

Some would say that's excessive; that I'm allowing bad experience and
careless people impact me negatively. But, you can't keep repeating
the same mistakes, following the same patterns in life. Life is change.
Growth. Transforming based on what you interact with. Life is not ideal,
in any sense of the world.

I'm evolving as a result of my insights gained through these relations.
I can use all things for my own good--and feeling badly about what
happened changes nothing.

You're either a predator or a victim in this world, and I'm damned
tired of being a victim.

***********************************************