Distortions-R-Us

Narcissists and sociopaths manufacture a fictitious
world for themselves by which they try and manipulate
and impress everyone they meet. They are pathological
liars and crave attention, respect, and admiration.


Barring that, they can become vicious and hostile.
People who don't give them 100% praise and adoration
are their 'enemies.'


They promote a lie of their self that no one can compete
with, and they do it so convincingly that you believe it.
Anything you have done, they've done better, more often,
or with a celebrity. Or, to bring you down, they'll critique
how you did it, shoot holes in anything you say, or ignore
you and act unimpressed. This is what makes them feel
complete.


There is no room in a narcissist's world for anyone but them.


They put on a play where they are supra-human in their
abilities, their knowledge, their reach, their achievements.
No one can contend or compete with this illusion, but the
charm of a narcissist--and their complete immersion into the
lie--causes people to buy into their lies.


Sociopaths would rather be praised for lies than take a chance
on how people will respond to the real them. Also, once a
web of deceit has been woven, it's inconceivable to let anyone
find out about it. The orchestrated lies are ingrained and very
intricately kept up with; they rule a narcissist's world.


A narcissist's whole reason for being is tied up in showing
up everyone around them. They do this through a variety
of methods; if they can't convince you they're super-human
so as to impress you, they'll ignore you to try and make you
feel insignificant, or they'll run you down to try and crush your
spirit and esteem.


All the while smiling and acting as if they're not doing so!


It's hard to keep your run-in with a narcissist not turn you
off of the whole of humanity. The ordeal is so numbing and
unbelievable that you feel burned on every level.


But in the end, the reality is that these folks are the worst of
the worst; they are not indicative of people in general.


Learn to be more cautious, less credulous, less open to others'
emotions--either negative or positive.

Nothing is as it Seems

A narcissist works on lies, myths, illusions;

they lie from the ground up,

or they distort what actually is.

They see right through you and everyone

else; they know what makes us tick and they use

that information to pull sway.

They psychologically decimate others--

but surreptitiously, never obvious, so

as to avoid suspicion and make you doubt

yourself, never them.

(And they do target the people they

think they have the best chance of

working over to do their worst work.)

Hell, they can even convince you they're

a good person who cares about you

while they're instilling doubt and undermining you.

That kind of insidiousness is what gives them joy.

(Don't feel bad; this is what they do,

it's what they're good at.

Most people fall prey to their lies.

Think of these people like a super-virus;

even the healthiest person's body isn't

strong enough to stand up to the illness!)

Just like a virus, the entry is

undetected. The takeover is slow

and insidious; you don't even know you're

sick til your feverish and falling over.

It's too late to prevent--

you now have to purge.

The only cure for a sociopath is to get them out of

your head, your life, your surroundings.

That's the only cure; you can't make them

well or change them, but

you can make yourself well by

getting rid of them.

Most importantly, as the

great Benjamin Franklin said,

"Believe none of what you hear,

and half of what you see."

With a narcissist, don't believe

a god damned thing you see, hear, or think.

They've specially targeted everything

they do, say, and act to seduce and use

you. They know what your Achilles'

heel is. Beware.

***

The narcissist has no consideration for anyone but themselves.

They only view others in terms of what they can offer them,
and how to manipulate them to that end.

A narcissist has lies that are easy to spot, if you can remain
objective and stay cool to their charms. What is effective about
a narcissist, though, is that they have a deeply convincing charm
and persuasiveness that can lure the most hardened critics.

They can make you doubt the truth that stands before you...
often even convince you to doubt what you have seen, heard
or thought.

The NPD is a salesman, a seducer, a snake, an ever-changing
and adapting con man who can speak whatever language he
(or she) needs to in order to get what they want.

But their promises are lies, no matter how earnest they seem.

There is no one they care for outside of self.

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder

An uncompromising--and uncomfortable--interview with perhaps the most
renowned (or at least vocal) narcissist.

A good insight, but it does raise some interesting questions regarding just
how cognizant a narcissist can be, and whether or not there is any hope
for changing...even if they should want to.

(Of course, if they knew that you knew their diagnosis, one that was
personally known to you would likely just pretend to be interested in change
so they could convince you to stay!)

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Who Better For the Job?

Talking with a friend the other night, the subject of the

'narcissist in positions of management' got brought up.

She voiced that she and her coworkers, having worked in

corporations for the last 25 years, continue to marvel at

the type of people who climb the ladder.

The disbelief that people who are so completely not

manager material (zero people skills, unliked by other

workers, no finesse, etc.) get bumped up the chain while

better people get overlooked. Not an isolated phenomenon.

Part of it harkens to erroneous messages we were sent

as kids, tainting our beliefs; The reality is that Good Guys

don't come out on top, and good things don't always happen

if you work hard enough. No matter how obviously corrupt or

ingratiating or brown-nosing...no matter how insincere and ego-

tistical and manipulative and back-stabbing...narcissists in

work situations will always float to the top.

Because all that matters is results, and the people they're

working for don't give a flip about morality or goodness.

Bottom line is all that matters in the working world, and even

a 'decent' top boss will still be swayed by the work output

of someone who stays late, obsesses over details, has no

real concerns or distractions of a loving family (or anyone

that cares about them,) and so on. They're living robots; the

perfect employee.

(Also, being abrasive is typically a tactic employed by socios

to throw off other people; mind games, pissing contest, psyching

you out, etc. They can flip it off to fool a superior and flip it back

on to intimidate coworkers.)

In fact, many times outright wrongdoing will be overlooked

and covered up for the narcissist if their work output is

deemed sufficiently worthwhile. At Citicorp in Tampa, a

sexual assault was covered up, never receiving reprimand

because the man responsible was considered 'irreplaceable.'

The military also has a history of allowing despicable vices to

some of their top minds, so long as they keep producing results.

And the draw of a heavy workload might seem incongruent with

the mentality; why do sociopaths and narcissists want to work

so much? What's the connection?

Well, in addition to being perfectionistic and self-aggrandizing

and obsessive, achievement serves as a replacement for real

emotions and human connectedness.  They will do anything

to get the kind of attention, power, and control that they relish.

They also tend to be very goal-oriented, without getting off

track with relationships, feelings, and other distractions. They

see their map of what they desire, and nothing else will stop

them. Succeeding, proving themselves, showing others up, having

a position over others; they are all rewards from the same plan.

So, long hours and extra tasks are their way of showing how

superior they are to everyone else (don't let the fake smile fool

you,) and the position of authority they get as a result is worth

all that effort. Any means to an end; they are relentless.

It's the perfect job really: who better to perform tasks than

someone without a full life of their own, someone who is not

prey to office politics since they feel no emotions, someone

robotic and unconcerned for the feelings of others, yet someone

who can mimic empathy to at least present the facade of being

professional?

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Malignant Narcissism

Definition of a Narcissist

(Taken from http://www.mayoclinic.com/)

((The text in italics is NOT based on the Diagnostics and
Statistics Manual, Fourth Edition-Text Revision (2000).
The text in italics IS based on
"Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited", fourth, revised, printing (2003)


An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need
for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning
by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of
the following criteria must be met:

• Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

• Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion

• Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)

• Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply)

• Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations

• Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends

• Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others

• Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her

• Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted