Narcissists Illustrated: Michael Lohan

Yeah...he really went there.

Hey, there are no boundaries or shame for

a rode-hard-put-up-wet, over the hill, raging,

selfish, drug addict loser who wins "Worst Parent Ever"

awards year after year.

Really, dude?

I guess this is supposed to be
"Mid-life Crisis/Active coke-head" chique?

***

"Wha- happened?!?"

"Why is it my sociopath started out like a sad sack and
then this guy showed up out of nowhere?"

Socios employ a variety of tactics to snare their prey.
Many play the martyr--the long suffering hurt victim of
any number of things...bad marriage, a job that doesn't
appreciate them, a family that treats them badly, etc. 

This is to gain sympathy and tug on the heartstrings of
empathic and gullible, big-hearted people--the easiest
ones to trick. With a sad story, they can win over the
targets who want to care take of and help people.

It's part of their 'I'll be whoever you want me to be' strategy
that allows them to do whatever it takes. The only base
personality of a socio is a manipulative pathological liar.
They are essentially blank slates...empty vessels under
whatever ruse they use.

They can switch it on and off in a moment, to play victim
to one person, then walk across the room and play Big
Man to another, and then access another role to draw in
someone else. They can be a smooth operator who has
investors thinking they're a wheeler-dealer and a debonair
world traveller, or for the needy widow they become a
vulnerable guy who 'really just needs a loving touch.'

Once you see the beast, don't be fooled; That is the real deal.
Don't buy the arguments and pretenses.
Don't let your guard down again.

The monster is the real person and the 'needy soul' is the
trap they lay. You have not stumbled upon the first case
in history where the opposite is true. Quit lying to yourself.

****************************************

Narcissists Illustrated: Lance Armstrong

A Sociopath's version of an apology is

"Why were you stupid enough

to believe what I told you?"

or

"Why aren't you smart enough to

doubt everyone and be suspicious?"

or

"You're the vulnerable and naive one;

I'm not responsible for how you respond

to my deeply deceptive machinations."

or

"You kind of asked to be abused

and taken advantage of, really."

But never,

never-ever

Never will you hear

"I was wrong."

or

"I'm truly sorry."

or

"What can I do to make it up to you?"

The 'blame-the-victim'

and
'I'm so misunderstood'

rift is the closest these guys get

to (feigned) remorse, kids!

***

"Never Gonna Give You Up"

"At first he was all like...

and then he was like...."

Mind-fucking is the name of the game

with a sociopath.

Causing emotional pain, getting folks

to let their guard down, playing

passive-aggressive games to mess with

a person's head--that's all the ultimate

high for a career pathological dickhead.

They don't change; it's the grandest of

addictions to control and hold power

over other people. It's a persuasion and

a desire like no other for them.

Pretending they've turned over a new leaf

to get you to trust them (or to have

'closure') is just a new web they're spinning.

And since there's never an end to

the number of people they can target, they

don't fear getting lonely.

There's no cure for a predator.

Your love will not set them free.

Don't be the 'dumb bitch' in the movie

who goes back into the house to see

if the monster's still there.

Just pick yourself up, and...

RUN, Girl, RUNNNN!

***

Mitt Romney: Angry Under Pressure

Angry. Self-important. Arrogant. Demanding. Pedantic.
Grandiose. Condescending. Dismissive. Rude. Oblivious.

"I know what's best."

"Why won't you do what I want?"

"Are you not smart enough to defer to me?"

"You need to do it my way and then I'll be calm."

Get ready for the powder keg to go off...and this
was just the job interview. Sociopathy in action,
and NO grace under pressure. Be afraid.

Which One Do You Feed?

Because the grip and pull of the sociopath has been set up so
insidiously, once it's activated (which is generally the only time
many of us even begin to notice that 'something's not right,')
it can be difficult to come to terms with reality in the midst of
such a convincing illusion.

This is what is commonly referred to as a narcissist/sociopath's
'crazy-making' abilities. Their explanations are so good, so
quickly produced, so plentiful, and so convincing that you end up
not quite sure if your persistent, irritating unease is legitimate...
or you're confused.

Making you question yourself is what they do.

The truth, the bottom line, the unavoidable reality is that this
person who has marked you as a plaything is a horrible human
being. Get your head wrapped around that.

It doesn't matter how great an Academy Award-winning performance
they give in attesting to their concern for you, or how traumatic their
childhood was.

It doesn't matter what the balance of lies to truths is.

It doesn't matter at all what they promise or plead or explain.

They're 100% Bad News and you are not responsible for anyone
on this planet outside of self, especially when that person is a red-hot,
toxic, steaming mess.

There's a lot of bad in the world. You are not required to be harmed
by it. By spending time with a sociopath, you are actively choosing
your own downfall. There certainly isn't room enough for both of you
to thrive, or survive.

****************************************************

Alternate Reality

Unexposed or naive folks fail to comprehend how
sociopaths are not easily recognizable, nestled as they
are in the midst of their 'perfect' lives.

They are not characters in a film, filled with robotic
maniacal evil, nor obvious serial-killer scum. (Yes, most
serial killers can be categorized as sociopaths, but not
all sociopaths are serial killers.)

Anyhow, the merits of being a likable, congenial,
poised, powerful, popular, central figure should be
obvious.

Gregarious, well-connected folks have access to much
more of people's money, secrets, children, positions,
favors, influence, and so on. Plus, the icing on the cake
is that the act of misleading and using other people--through
the facade of being a good family man and regular Joe--is
a sociopath's wet dream.

Another aspect is that many highly-wrought, OCD-
controlled, manic, over-achieving socios do what they
do--like the Energizer Bunny--and become pillars of the
community (charitable, magnanimous, smiling constantly,
god-fearing and church-loving) because, you know, after all
that they have given....oughtn't they have the right to some
letting off of the steam?

Surely one thing offsets the other, right?

Should they not be afforded a blind eye to a silly little
transgression...or a lifetime of them? Doing all this good
lays down the path to getting a doorway into the good
graces of those they victimize, but it also provides a
'balance' (in their sick minds, at least) which allows them
the leeway to commit their dark deeds on the side.

An occasional naughtiness isn't such a big deal, right?
Especially since the rules don't apply the same for a
socio.

Everyone is the hero of their own story. Everyone.
And that's simply more true for a socio. The sicker you are,
the more capable you are of justifying even the most
incessant and horrific of insanities.

The longer they go without getting caught and the better they
do at their facade of goodness (achieving acclaim and reward,)
the easier they can convince themselves that what you're doing
is okay...or that they're unstoppable.

Even convincing themselves that their actions are not that big
a deal...and if people weren't so stupid, they wouldn't be able
to take such easy advantage of them in the first place. So,
really, isn't it kind of their own fault that they're being hurt,
abused, robbed, and swindled?

*********************************************

Why Victims of Narcissists Can't Let Go

No better voice for the malignant narcissist than one who is.

(Narcissists are so loathe to admit who they are, or share their
secrets, so having Sam reveal the underbelly is quite helpful.

He says so much more succinctly--and directly--about what it
means to deal with getting beyond the lasting toxicity and
confusion brought on by a narcissist,  even after the relationship
is over.

******************************************************

Nothing is as it Seems

A narcissist works on lies, myths, illusions;

they lie from the ground up,

or they distort what actually is.

They see right through you and everyone

else; they know what makes us tick and they use

that information to pull sway.

They psychologically decimate others--

but surreptitiously, never obvious, so

as to avoid suspicion and make you doubt

yourself, never them.

(And they do target the people they

think they have the best chance of

working over to do their worst work.)

Hell, they can even convince you they're

a good person who cares about you

while they're instilling doubt and undermining you.

That kind of insidiousness is what gives them joy.

(Don't feel bad; this is what they do,

it's what they're good at.

Most people fall prey to their lies.

Think of these people like a super-virus;

even the healthiest person's body isn't

strong enough to stand up to the illness!)

Just like a virus, the entry is

undetected. The takeover is slow

and insidious; you don't even know you're

sick til your feverish and falling over.

It's too late to prevent--

you now have to purge.

The only cure for a sociopath is to get them out of

your head, your life, your surroundings.

That's the only cure; you can't make them

well or change them, but

you can make yourself well by

getting rid of them.

Most importantly, as the

great Benjamin Franklin said,

"Believe none of what you hear,

and half of what you see."

With a narcissist, don't believe

a god damned thing you see, hear, or think.

They've specially targeted everything

they do, say, and act to seduce and use

you. They know what your Achilles'

heel is. Beware.

***