Wheel Keeps on Spinning



The Wheel of Life

 People who say hopeful and blissful and meditative silly shit
like "Let's focus on the good in the world," and "Nobody's all
bad," or "so-and-so is just misunderstood," or "There's hope for
the human race," do NOT feel that way or say those things
because they really believe it or because it's true.

They say them because if we acknowledge in our inner self the
true sick, twisted, depraved, reprobate, decrepit nature of
this race of vulturous, duplicitous, sacks of shit we are, we'd all
be too god damned depressed and suicidal to go on or function.

And it's the ones who act the nicest or the most above-it-all
that you most have to watch out for. The inability to trust or
believe or have faith in those who are selling a positive image
that we believe in is some soul-devouring shit. So most keep
believing the lies even after they've been proven false.

We just so desperately need a beautiful lie, a false promise to
hold onto. Thieves, con men, sadists, crazy people; that's
what this world offers. But those guys are not the ones who
take you by surprise; mostly you see them coming. It's the ones
who smile and cajole and play the friend or show compassion
as a lover that gain special access to do the most damage.

And there's enough variety of insidious bullshit that you can live a
hundred years and not see all the many ways it hides and manifests
itself. Which is of course why people gloss over it...ignore it....
make light of it....and frame it as pardonable, insignificant, and
harmonious, changeable.

Cuz it sure as shit ain't...and that's a deal breaker.

Ironies

A sociopath

has the ability to

impress folks

with the idea of

being better than

two people...

while in truth

ending up being

only half a person.

***

Blood in the Water



"You like me...you really like me!"

 The issue in dealing with sociopaths and narcissists can't merely
consist of being aware of them and avoiding them.

Those of us drawn to and drawn in by these folks have to recalibrate
our internal engines; there is typically something inherent in us that
brings the calculating trolls running to our doors.

Some of the traits that tend to belong to us, otherwise known as
'victims' or targets for the narcs and socios;

*People who need to be needed, who get a part of their needs met
by having a role or being of use to others

*People who are lonely or emotionally needy; who have done without
affection in the past

*People who have been abused or in abusive relationships (as we are
always more inclined to accept and overlook abuse; even, often, to
be drawn to it)

*People who have poor boundaries, who have not learned to stand up
for themselves

*People who have issues with codependency (wanting someone else
to make them feel complete, obsession with others, eternally lonely and
deferring to others)

*People who care more about others' feelings than their own (No, this
is NOT a positive attribute, despite what they drilled into you in Sunday
school!)

To truly combat against outside abuses, we have to be aware of our
inner landscape and make the necessary changes to reshape the parts
of us that are self geared for self-preservation.

It's entirely possible, and we are certainly worth the effort.
I made the necessary changes, and so can you.

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Sympathy for the Devil

Grown men as sniveling hurt victims

(Tip of the hat to fellow blogger Ben for the title! Check out his
blog "Sympathy for the Devil" in my faves!)

Sociopaths will engage in two tactics (or variations thereof) in
order to create a sympathetic persona for themselves. As always
the purpose is to manipulate others and draw them into the fold.

The first type of tactic is to completely invent a scenario that they
will attribute to themselves, one they will claim as a real happening
in their life. The bit of history (or current issue) will have such
excruciatingly detailed nuances that questioning its origins will
never occur to most.

Socios are master liars, but they will sometimes borrow from
works of fiction in order to maintain a plausible story. Hell, they
probably get an extra thrill from doing so as it would mean they
were pulling one over on someone even more because the mark
didn't pick up on a classic tale.

The second method of garnering people's affection is to take a
minor, insignificant (but real) experience from their past and play
it up as traumatic and heartbreaking. They use the tools they have
gathered from observing people with actual emotions and merge
them with the non-issue to manufacture a sense of gravitas for
themselves.

All of this is designed to draw empathy from the people around
them, maybe help them to fit in a little more with this sympathetic
tale. It's all about the end game with these guys, and they're ever
planning its arrival. When we think people are hurting, we tend to
let down our guard and feel more at ease with them.

With a sociopath and narcissist, that's like inviting the vampire
into your home.

**********************************************

"Wha- happened?!?"

"Why is it my sociopath started out like a sad sack and
then this guy showed up out of nowhere?"

Socios employ a variety of tactics to snare their prey.
Many play the martyr--the long suffering hurt victim of
any number of things...bad marriage, a job that doesn't
appreciate them, a family that treats them badly, etc. 

This is to gain sympathy and tug on the heartstrings of
empathic and gullible, big-hearted people--the easiest
ones to trick. With a sad story, they can win over the
targets who want to care take of and help people.

It's part of their 'I'll be whoever you want me to be' strategy
that allows them to do whatever it takes. The only base
personality of a socio is a manipulative pathological liar.
They are essentially blank slates...empty vessels under
whatever ruse they use.

They can switch it on and off in a moment, to play victim
to one person, then walk across the room and play Big
Man to another, and then access another role to draw in
someone else. They can be a smooth operator who has
investors thinking they're a wheeler-dealer and a debonair
world traveller, or for the needy widow they become a
vulnerable guy who 'really just needs a loving touch.'

Once you see the beast, don't be fooled; That is the real deal.
Don't buy the arguments and pretenses.
Don't let your guard down again.

The monster is the real person and the 'needy soul' is the
trap they lay. You have not stumbled upon the first case
in history where the opposite is true. Quit lying to yourself.

****************************************

It's Not Unusual

When you tell the truth about someone who's evil,
it's not a matter like in the movies where everyone
cheers and heads start nodding in affirmative approval.

The person you confront doesn't say "You're right," and
set about correcting the issues.

There are no apologies, no deep and burning turning
around of one's life because of the public embarrassment.
No introspection and curiosity about how to join a
commune and make restitution.

No, in Reality, confronted con men DENY.

They dig their heels in deeper on their stories.
They act as if the revealer is the immoral one, and they set
about destroying your reputation and relationships with new
elaborate lies and shadow campaigns.

They funnel their rage at being caught into undermining your
credibility and inventing more sweeping manipulations to
sucker people. Coming clean does not occur to them.

Exposure turns sociopaths and narcissists into trapped
beasts, and that leads to rabid crazy-making. (Yes, moreso
than usual.)

They make your truth-telling into a 'patently absurd attack' and
are then, 'rightfully' filled with righteous indignation, they resent
and blame and get bombastic. They bully and intimidate and
threaten. They put up such great appearances to continue and
recommit to their lies that people think you must surely be out
of your mind.

So be wary of trying to topple one....
Even what should be their defeat they can turn their way.

Gin Wigmore - "Man Like That"

Nothing like a cautionary tale with a rocking beat and a happening video!

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