Which One Do You Feed?

Because the grip and pull of the sociopath has been set up so
insidiously, once it's activated (which is generally the only time
many of us even begin to notice that 'something's not right,')
it can be difficult to come to terms with reality in the midst of
such a convincing illusion.

This is what is commonly referred to as a narcissist/sociopath's
'crazy-making' abilities. Their explanations are so good, so
quickly produced, so plentiful, and so convincing that you end up
not quite sure if your persistent, irritating unease is legitimate...
or you're confused.

Making you question yourself is what they do.

The truth, the bottom line, the unavoidable reality is that this
person who has marked you as a plaything is a horrible human
being. Get your head wrapped around that.

It doesn't matter how great an Academy Award-winning performance
they give in attesting to their concern for you, or how traumatic their
childhood was.

It doesn't matter what the balance of lies to truths is.

It doesn't matter at all what they promise or plead or explain.

They're 100% Bad News and you are not responsible for anyone
on this planet outside of self, especially when that person is a red-hot,
toxic, steaming mess.

There's a lot of bad in the world. You are not required to be harmed
by it. By spending time with a sociopath, you are actively choosing
your own downfall. There certainly isn't room enough for both of you
to thrive, or survive.

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Caution: Quagmire Ahead

Sociopaths have no understanding of actual emotions;
they understand how to manipulate the emotions of others,
like a big science experiment which they are completely
detached from.

(Well, I guess they do feel a sense of superiority...and they
feel frustrated when everything doesn't go their way.)

However, what's confusing is that the socio doesn't act
robotic or disconnected; they feign the emotions which
they know will elicit a specific response from their target.
They seem like regular people; if anything, they seem
'better' than the average person! (First Red Flag!!)

A sociopath depends on other people's adherence to
social cues and protocols to prod them into action. They
are the masters of people-pleasing, with a dark agenda.

But alas, we can't just wish this away.
Those of us who are prone to these kinds of people have
to change. Notice the pattern. Heed the warning signs.
Change the dynamic.

Instead of allowing it or being passive, we must prepare to
meet the wolves at the door. Naivete won't allow for our
survival.

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Alternate Reality

Unexposed or naive folks fail to comprehend how
sociopaths are not easily recognizable, nestled as they
are in the midst of their 'perfect' lives.

They are not characters in a film, filled with robotic
maniacal evil, nor obvious serial-killer scum. (Yes, most
serial killers can be categorized as sociopaths, but not
all sociopaths are serial killers.)

Anyhow, the merits of being a likable, congenial,
poised, powerful, popular, central figure should be
obvious.

Gregarious, well-connected folks have access to much
more of people's money, secrets, children, positions,
favors, influence, and so on. Plus, the icing on the cake
is that the act of misleading and using other people--through
the facade of being a good family man and regular Joe--is
a sociopath's wet dream.

Another aspect is that many highly-wrought, OCD-
controlled, manic, over-achieving socios do what they
do--like the Energizer Bunny--and become pillars of the
community (charitable, magnanimous, smiling constantly,
god-fearing and church-loving) because, you know, after all
that they have given....oughtn't they have the right to some
letting off of the steam?

Surely one thing offsets the other, right?

Should they not be afforded a blind eye to a silly little
transgression...or a lifetime of them? Doing all this good
lays down the path to getting a doorway into the good
graces of those they victimize, but it also provides a
'balance' (in their sick minds, at least) which allows them
the leeway to commit their dark deeds on the side.

An occasional naughtiness isn't such a big deal, right?
Especially since the rules don't apply the same for a
socio.

Everyone is the hero of their own story. Everyone.
And that's simply more true for a socio. The sicker you are,
the more capable you are of justifying even the most
incessant and horrific of insanities.

The longer they go without getting caught and the better they
do at their facade of goodness (achieving acclaim and reward,)
the easier they can convince themselves that what you're doing
is okay...or that they're unstoppable.

Even convincing themselves that their actions are not that big
a deal...and if people weren't so stupid, they wouldn't be able
to take such easy advantage of them in the first place. So,
really, isn't it kind of their own fault that they're being hurt,
abused, robbed, and swindled?

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If They Seem 'Too Good to be True,'.....

Sociopaths possess an Insidious ability/tactic:
They build you up.
Stroke your ego.
Groom you.
Play with you.
Intentionally trick you.
Make you feel special, loved, and unique
(like everyone wants to feel.)

Then BOOM!...drop you cold.
Watch you squirm.
Your manipulation is for their
benefit...so they can feel good.
Like a cat with a mouse, they let you go,
then sharpen their claws on you,
relentlessly playing mind games.

But eventually you realize;
the whole point of building you up
was to knock you down.

When people show you who they really are,
you need to take it in, and get away from them.

YOU are responsible for caring about you.
You are responsible for not being swayed
by a smoothe talker who's saying all the right words.
You are responsible...
for discernment,
for taking action,
not accepting lies,
deciding for yourself what you are willing to tolerate.
For confronting and verbalizing your discontent
and your needs....standing up for yourself.

To accept abuse is to invite abuse.
Stop putting so much emphasis on another person.
Stop allowing yourself to be manipulated.
Start trusting your gut and not outside influences.

You can't take care of yourself and the person abusing you;
you owe everything to yourself, and nothing to a user.
There is no cure for their sickness; they feign a need and
interest in you merely to push your buttons and play on your
compassion.

See it for what it is, not what their charms tell you it is.

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A Messenger's Fate Hasn't Changed

The bitter truth can't compete with a beautiful lie.

You can't take on a sociopath because it is an intricately-veiled
massive deceit they have constructed. People like the illusion
they project.

They will hate you for speaking against the object of their affection,
for trying to 'undermine' their relationship, for making them question
someone/something that makes them feel so good, for inferring that
the listener/receiver isn't smart enough to have figured this out for
themselves--or that they were dumb enough to be fooled in the first
place, etc.

The messenger does always get shot.

You will not only give the socio/narc a chance to play the victim
in public, garnering more sympathy, but you will draw attention
to yourself and be targeted for further problems from the socio.
And you will become a social pariah because the charm of the
socio is very inspiring of loyalty in people.

Their fiction is bulletproof.

So before you think of taking on a narc's illusions publicly,
think about how defensive you would be if someone tried to
sully something you cherished. A narc's facade is all they
have...and they go to great lengths to create a serious bond
with their source.

The response is about as good as confrontational religious
remarks at a dinner party.

It's not about whether or not they deserve to be taken down
and exposed; it's about the likelihood of it happening, and
keeping yourself from suffering even further loss and difficulty.

People love their fictions.
They love their illusions.
They love being ignorant and oblivious.
People say they want the truth, but they really don't.

Most of them would rather stay in the dark than be forced to
swallow a bitter pill they aren't ready for. It's hard to see all
that invested time, energy, and trust go up in smoke; people
get crazy when the shit hits the fan. Don't get caught in the middle,
unless you're especially invested in the well-being of potential
marks/victims.

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"Narcissists" Documentary: Revealing

A well-done, stunningly intricate delving into of the psyche and patterns.

Worth the time to watch; view it in segments if you can't get through
the whole thing in one setting.

And please pass it on to anyone you know to be involved with a narcissist or
even suspect of being involved. While dealing with the sociopath, one's idea
of what the rest of the world is all about gets turned upside down.

Some exposing of truths and tactics might just break through and save
someone's life.

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Chameleons

"Who do you want me to be?"
(I'll do it long enough to hook you!)

A narcissist will portray themselves as an expert, a super hero,

a successful person in any field broached in a discussion. But

don't subscribe to it; they're anything but objective or honest.

They follow their own agenda.

Even kindness is a ruse.

"It was like he knew what I was thinking; he said all the things

I wanted to hear."

Psychologically anticipating and then meeting  a need is
a specialty of the sociopath. You are  a tool to be used...
and if you see through their ruse then they will look to
elict empathy by playing the sympathy card, or try and
control you by raging and/or shaming you.

Whatever tools they can use, they will. Any means to an end.
That's all a human being--and their emotions--are to a socio.

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