Ironies

A sociopath

has the ability to

impress folks

with the idea of

being better than

two people...

while in truth

ending up being

only half a person.

***

Blood in the Water



"You like me...you really like me!"

 The issue in dealing with sociopaths and narcissists can't merely
consist of being aware of them and avoiding them.

Those of us drawn to and drawn in by these folks have to recalibrate
our internal engines; there is typically something inherent in us that
brings the calculating trolls running to our doors.

Some of the traits that tend to belong to us, otherwise known as
'victims' or targets for the narcs and socios;

*People who need to be needed, who get a part of their needs met
by having a role or being of use to others

*People who are lonely or emotionally needy; who have done without
affection in the past

*People who have been abused or in abusive relationships (as we are
always more inclined to accept and overlook abuse; even, often, to
be drawn to it)

*People who have poor boundaries, who have not learned to stand up
for themselves

*People who have issues with codependency (wanting someone else
to make them feel complete, obsession with others, eternally lonely and
deferring to others)

*People who care more about others' feelings than their own (No, this
is NOT a positive attribute, despite what they drilled into you in Sunday
school!)

To truly combat against outside abuses, we have to be aware of our
inner landscape and make the necessary changes to reshape the parts
of us that are self geared for self-preservation.

It's entirely possible, and we are certainly worth the effort.
I made the necessary changes, and so can you.

*****************************************************

Sympathy for the Devil

Grown men as sniveling hurt victims

(Tip of the hat to fellow blogger Ben for the title! Check out his
blog "Sympathy for the Devil" in my faves!)

Sociopaths will engage in two tactics (or variations thereof) in
order to create a sympathetic persona for themselves. As always
the purpose is to manipulate others and draw them into the fold.

The first type of tactic is to completely invent a scenario that they
will attribute to themselves, one they will claim as a real happening
in their life. The bit of history (or current issue) will have such
excruciatingly detailed nuances that questioning its origins will
never occur to most.

Socios are master liars, but they will sometimes borrow from
works of fiction in order to maintain a plausible story. Hell, they
probably get an extra thrill from doing so as it would mean they
were pulling one over on someone even more because the mark
didn't pick up on a classic tale.

The second method of garnering people's affection is to take a
minor, insignificant (but real) experience from their past and play
it up as traumatic and heartbreaking. They use the tools they have
gathered from observing people with actual emotions and merge
them with the non-issue to manufacture a sense of gravitas for
themselves.

All of this is designed to draw empathy from the people around
them, maybe help them to fit in a little more with this sympathetic
tale. It's all about the end game with these guys, and they're ever
planning its arrival. When we think people are hurting, we tend to
let down our guard and feel more at ease with them.

With a sociopath and narcissist, that's like inviting the vampire
into your home.

**********************************************

"Wha- happened?!?"

"Why is it my sociopath started out like a sad sack and
then this guy showed up out of nowhere?"

Socios employ a variety of tactics to snare their prey.
Many play the martyr--the long suffering hurt victim of
any number of things...bad marriage, a job that doesn't
appreciate them, a family that treats them badly, etc. 

This is to gain sympathy and tug on the heartstrings of
empathic and gullible, big-hearted people--the easiest
ones to trick. With a sad story, they can win over the
targets who want to care take of and help people.

It's part of their 'I'll be whoever you want me to be' strategy
that allows them to do whatever it takes. The only base
personality of a socio is a manipulative pathological liar.
They are essentially blank slates...empty vessels under
whatever ruse they use.

They can switch it on and off in a moment, to play victim
to one person, then walk across the room and play Big
Man to another, and then access another role to draw in
someone else. They can be a smooth operator who has
investors thinking they're a wheeler-dealer and a debonair
world traveller, or for the needy widow they become a
vulnerable guy who 'really just needs a loving touch.'

Once you see the beast, don't be fooled; That is the real deal.
Don't buy the arguments and pretenses.
Don't let your guard down again.

The monster is the real person and the 'needy soul' is the
trap they lay. You have not stumbled upon the first case
in history where the opposite is true. Quit lying to yourself.

****************************************