"Never Gonna Give You Up"

"At first he was all like...

and then he was like...."

Mind-fucking is the name of the game

with a sociopath.

Causing emotional pain, getting folks

to let their guard down, playing

passive-aggressive games to mess with

a person's head--that's all the ultimate

high for a career pathological dickhead.

They don't change; it's the grandest of

addictions to control and hold power

over other people. It's a persuasion and

a desire like no other for them.

Pretending they've turned over a new leaf

to get you to trust them (or to have

'closure') is just a new web they're spinning.

And since there's never an end to

the number of people they can target, they

don't fear getting lonely.

There's no cure for a predator.

Your love will not set them free.

Don't be the 'dumb bitch' in the movie

who goes back into the house to see

if the monster's still there.

Just pick yourself up, and...

RUN, Girl, RUNNNN!

***

"Vanity, thy Name is Lying-Sack-of-Shit!"

"It's all about the money, baby!"

***

Torn Up

A confidence man is an exquisite study in self-sufficient organisms.
They take a person's own fears, desires, and other personal innermost aspects--
the pieces of your most basic nature, your soul--and use them as ammunition
against that person, their target.

In a sense, you're at war with yourself.
They stimulate a place in you that has never been touched--an intimacy
unparalleled--so that it not only a deeply private matter you want kept hidden,
but the embarrassment at being used in such a way is intense.

That's the violation; they prey on the innermost subliminal feelings,
and once they achieve what they want, you are left once again alone,
but feeling the loss of that false promise.

They put you in touch with your dreams, believing in the possibility,
having primal desires awakened,...and then you're left holding a bill
of goods.

But the precision of the predatory assessment, the execution, the
detachment from the sickness of what's done and the absolute dedication
to one's own survival at all costs is an admirable quality within the
sociopath. Surely there is something to be learned from dissecting their
methodology and drive, so we might become more adept at survival
ourselves.

Ruthlessness may not necessarily be a learned skill, but it's for
damned sure a useful one. At the very least, we have to stop beating
ourselves up...or allowing others to do so.

**********************************************

Definition of a Sociopath

Mitt Romney: Angry Under Pressure

Angry. Self-important. Arrogant. Demanding. Pedantic.
Grandiose. Condescending. Dismissive. Rude. Oblivious.

"I know what's best."

"Why won't you do what I want?"

"Are you not smart enough to defer to me?"

"You need to do it my way and then I'll be calm."

Get ready for the powder keg to go off...and this
was just the job interview. Sociopathy in action,
and NO grace under pressure. Be afraid.

Change is in the Err

A person can't feel badly for their actions towards you
(or your response to mistreatment) if they have no conscience.

They can't empathize with pain you feel in general, either...nor
be interested in what's important to you, apologize for oversights
or infractions, give support, be sincere, or provide any other normal
human response you'd find in a real relationship.

Stop wasting time trying to get attention, concern, affection,
apologies, or satisfaction from such a person.

A rock can't give blood. Forget all the fairy tales and romantic
notions regarding teaching people how to open up, love, or
otherwise respond positively to care and compassion.

Give the things you need to yourself.
No one else will care a fig for your hurt feelings, your broken
heart, your ego, or your losses.

I need to learn to stop caring so much about others and their
thoughts, rejections, slings and arrows.

I also need to stop feeling emotions as deeply as I tend to,
and as readily as I do.

Wearing my emotions on my sleeve has led to me being a target,
and so the fault weighs on me too. If I want things to be different,
I must change what is bringing about the problem. I can't afford to
be compassionate, naive, ignorant, or accepting.

I need a little more healthy distance between me and my heart.

Some would say that's excessive; that I'm allowing bad experience and
careless people impact me negatively. But, you can't keep repeating
the same mistakes, following the same patterns in life. Life is change.
Growth. Transforming based on what you interact with. Life is not ideal,
in any sense of the world.

I'm evolving as a result of my insights gained through these relations.
I can use all things for my own good--and feeling badly about what
happened changes nothing.

You're either a predator or a victim in this world, and I'm damned
tired of being a victim.

***********************************************

Ann Coulter on Calling Obama a Retard

Here's a great picture of the epitome' of a sociopath. No, don't avert
your eyes to avoid a Halloween scare; she always looks this frightening.

Completely ignorant and yet pompous and pretentious, even belligerent,
all the way. Angry and frustrated and blaming everyone else around her for
her stupidity, she's a constant victim--and an outraged bitch--all at once.

It's too bad the word 'retard' is so inappropriate to use, because the
intended disrespect behind it certainly fits Ms. Coulter to a 'T'...except that
using it would be horribly unfair to actual developmentally disabled people.

She's a liar who knows full well the impact of what she did, but chooses to
take no responsibility for it (or the hurt it causes many people) and instead
again plays victim by portraying herself as someone who can't make 'innocent'
remarks without being 'unfairly' lambasted and critiqued.

You can't have it both ways, but sociopaths sure want it; Act like a brutal bully
and say and do whatever you like, and still want to be popular and unmolested.

*****************************************************

"What Just Happened Here?"

The fantastic James Wolk from the criminally short-lived "Lone Star."

Opposition is easy to squelch when you're in a position of power.

Convincing opponents you care, however?

Charming them so as to smile while they swallow the bitter pill you've

administered to them?

Conning them into thinking that taking part in their own demise is

their own idea?

Disarming them enough to distract them from abuse, and in fact

interpret it as acceptable?

That's mastery.

And you can bet it doesn't happen by mistake.

***

Enchante'

 

Sociopaths are Masters of the flourish, providing a torrent

of special attention and excitement that their charm and

manipulation make seem as real as your own breath.

 

In the face of all these enhanced emotions and 'perfect' human

response, little else can compare (which is, after all, exactly

the point.)

 

That attention and kindness most of us seek for a lifetime
(or, conversely, never imagined could possibly be real) is
there in front of you, hand-delivered, and specially tailored.

But it isn't real. It's a facade. A scam.

Temporary insanity. And the kind of fantasy that makes
real life disappointing to come back to. (Which is one reason
people make excuses to stay with a narcissist; because the
roller coaster ride isn't always down, and the thrill of it all is
addictive.)

The relationship is not just sick in one direction; it is a
symbiotic unhealthy relation. There is a desperation and a
neediness inherent in the relationship between socio and
victim; almost a reversal of the one between host and
parasite.

Beyond the bill of goods, beyond the trance, beyond the
romanticization of even their pain and sickness, there
is truth. The sickly, neurotic, dangerous, hurtful truth that
must be confronted and accepted before detachment is
possible.

*********************************************

Which One Do You Feed?

Because the grip and pull of the sociopath has been set up so
insidiously, once it's activated (which is generally the only time
many of us even begin to notice that 'something's not right,')
it can be difficult to come to terms with reality in the midst of
such a convincing illusion.

This is what is commonly referred to as a narcissist/sociopath's
'crazy-making' abilities. Their explanations are so good, so
quickly produced, so plentiful, and so convincing that you end up
not quite sure if your persistent, irritating unease is legitimate...
or you're confused.

Making you question yourself is what they do.

The truth, the bottom line, the unavoidable reality is that this
person who has marked you as a plaything is a horrible human
being. Get your head wrapped around that.

It doesn't matter how great an Academy Award-winning performance
they give in attesting to their concern for you, or how traumatic their
childhood was.

It doesn't matter what the balance of lies to truths is.

It doesn't matter at all what they promise or plead or explain.

They're 100% Bad News and you are not responsible for anyone
on this planet outside of self, especially when that person is a red-hot,
toxic, steaming mess.

There's a lot of bad in the world. You are not required to be harmed
by it. By spending time with a sociopath, you are actively choosing
your own downfall. There certainly isn't room enough for both of you
to thrive, or survive.

****************************************************

Caution: Quagmire Ahead

Sociopaths have no understanding of actual emotions;
they understand how to manipulate the emotions of others,
like a big science experiment which they are completely
detached from.

(Well, I guess they do feel a sense of superiority...and they
feel frustrated when everything doesn't go their way.)

However, what's confusing is that the socio doesn't act
robotic or disconnected; they feign the emotions which
they know will elicit a specific response from their target.
They seem like regular people; if anything, they seem
'better' than the average person! (First Red Flag!!)

A sociopath depends on other people's adherence to
social cues and protocols to prod them into action. They
are the masters of people-pleasing, with a dark agenda.

But alas, we can't just wish this away.
Those of us who are prone to these kinds of people have
to change. Notice the pattern. Heed the warning signs.
Change the dynamic.

Instead of allowing it or being passive, we must prepare to
meet the wolves at the door. Naivete won't allow for our
survival.

********************************************************************

Alternate Reality

Unexposed or naive folks fail to comprehend how
sociopaths are not easily recognizable, nestled as they
are in the midst of their 'perfect' lives.

They are not characters in a film, filled with robotic
maniacal evil, nor obvious serial-killer scum. (Yes, most
serial killers can be categorized as sociopaths, but not
all sociopaths are serial killers.)

Anyhow, the merits of being a likable, congenial,
poised, powerful, popular, central figure should be
obvious.

Gregarious, well-connected folks have access to much
more of people's money, secrets, children, positions,
favors, influence, and so on. Plus, the icing on the cake
is that the act of misleading and using other people--through
the facade of being a good family man and regular Joe--is
a sociopath's wet dream.

Another aspect is that many highly-wrought, OCD-
controlled, manic, over-achieving socios do what they
do--like the Energizer Bunny--and become pillars of the
community (charitable, magnanimous, smiling constantly,
god-fearing and church-loving) because, you know, after all
that they have given....oughtn't they have the right to some
letting off of the steam?

Surely one thing offsets the other, right?

Should they not be afforded a blind eye to a silly little
transgression...or a lifetime of them? Doing all this good
lays down the path to getting a doorway into the good
graces of those they victimize, but it also provides a
'balance' (in their sick minds, at least) which allows them
the leeway to commit their dark deeds on the side.

An occasional naughtiness isn't such a big deal, right?
Especially since the rules don't apply the same for a
socio.

Everyone is the hero of their own story. Everyone.
And that's simply more true for a socio. The sicker you are,
the more capable you are of justifying even the most
incessant and horrific of insanities.

The longer they go without getting caught and the better they
do at their facade of goodness (achieving acclaim and reward,)
the easier they can convince themselves that what you're doing
is okay...or that they're unstoppable.

Even convincing themselves that their actions are not that big
a deal...and if people weren't so stupid, they wouldn't be able
to take such easy advantage of them in the first place. So,
really, isn't it kind of their own fault that they're being hurt,
abused, robbed, and swindled?

*********************************************

If They Seem 'Too Good to be True,'.....

Sociopaths possess an Insidious ability/tactic:
They build you up.
Stroke your ego.
Groom you.
Play with you.
Intentionally trick you.
Make you feel special, loved, and unique
(like everyone wants to feel.)

Then BOOM!...drop you cold.
Watch you squirm.
Your manipulation is for their
benefit...so they can feel good.
Like a cat with a mouse, they let you go,
then sharpen their claws on you,
relentlessly playing mind games.

But eventually you realize;
the whole point of building you up
was to knock you down.

When people show you who they really are,
you need to take it in, and get away from them.

YOU are responsible for caring about you.
You are responsible for not being swayed
by a smoothe talker who's saying all the right words.
You are responsible...
for discernment,
for taking action,
not accepting lies,
deciding for yourself what you are willing to tolerate.
For confronting and verbalizing your discontent
and your needs....standing up for yourself.

To accept abuse is to invite abuse.
Stop putting so much emphasis on another person.
Stop allowing yourself to be manipulated.
Start trusting your gut and not outside influences.

You can't take care of yourself and the person abusing you;
you owe everything to yourself, and nothing to a user.
There is no cure for their sickness; they feign a need and
interest in you merely to push your buttons and play on your
compassion.

See it for what it is, not what their charms tell you it is.

********************************************

A Messenger's Fate Hasn't Changed

The bitter truth can't compete with a beautiful lie.

You can't take on a sociopath because it is an intricately-veiled
massive deceit they have constructed. People like the illusion
they project.

They will hate you for speaking against the object of their affection,
for trying to 'undermine' their relationship, for making them question
someone/something that makes them feel so good, for inferring that
the listener/receiver isn't smart enough to have figured this out for
themselves--or that they were dumb enough to be fooled in the first
place, etc.

The messenger does always get shot.

You will not only give the socio/narc a chance to play the victim
in public, garnering more sympathy, but you will draw attention
to yourself and be targeted for further problems from the socio.
And you will become a social pariah because the charm of the
socio is very inspiring of loyalty in people.

Their fiction is bulletproof.

So before you think of taking on a narc's illusions publicly,
think about how defensive you would be if someone tried to
sully something you cherished. A narc's facade is all they
have...and they go to great lengths to create a serious bond
with their source.

The response is about as good as confrontational religious
remarks at a dinner party.

It's not about whether or not they deserve to be taken down
and exposed; it's about the likelihood of it happening, and
keeping yourself from suffering even further loss and difficulty.

People love their fictions.
They love their illusions.
They love being ignorant and oblivious.
People say they want the truth, but they really don't.

Most of them would rather stay in the dark than be forced to
swallow a bitter pill they aren't ready for. It's hard to see all
that invested time, energy, and trust go up in smoke; people
get crazy when the shit hits the fan. Don't get caught in the middle,
unless you're especially invested in the well-being of potential
marks/victims.

**************************************************

"Narcissists" Documentary: Revealing

A well-done, stunningly intricate delving into of the psyche and patterns.

Worth the time to watch; view it in segments if you can't get through
the whole thing in one setting.

And please pass it on to anyone you know to be involved with a narcissist or
even suspect of being involved. While dealing with the sociopath, one's idea
of what the rest of the world is all about gets turned upside down.

Some exposing of truths and tactics might just break through and save
someone's life.

**********************************************************

Chameleons

"Who do you want me to be?"
(I'll do it long enough to hook you!)

A narcissist will portray themselves as an expert, a super hero,

a successful person in any field broached in a discussion. But

don't subscribe to it; they're anything but objective or honest.

They follow their own agenda.

Even kindness is a ruse.

"It was like he knew what I was thinking; he said all the things

I wanted to hear."

Psychologically anticipating and then meeting  a need is
a specialty of the sociopath. You are  a tool to be used...
and if you see through their ruse then they will look to
elict empathy by playing the sympathy card, or try and
control you by raging and/or shaming you.

Whatever tools they can use, they will. Any means to an end.
That's all a human being--and their emotions--are to a socio.

*****************************************************************

The Perfect Machine

Don't hate the playah....hate the game...right?

Objectively looking at what a narcissist accomplishes,
and completely disregarding the carnage they leave in
their wake, one can see the draw to give in to the
behavior.

Just like a shark, never tiring, always hunting, always
moving, ever the efficient killing machine, there is a
natural ease and magnificence to what the narcissist
is able to do.

If you look at life in terms of survival of the fittest and
competition, then a narcissist is a true marvel.

It's only when attempting to be sociable and civilized
that an NPD's traits come into conflict.

If we disregard character and humanity all together,
we can see that the narcissist mentality and lifestyle
is actually quite desirable and praise-worthy.

*********************************************

Why Victims of Narcissists Can't Let Go

No better voice for the malignant narcissist than one who is.

(Narcissists are so loathe to admit who they are, or share their
secrets, so having Sam reveal the underbelly is quite helpful.

He says so much more succinctly--and directly--about what it
means to deal with getting beyond the lasting toxicity and
confusion brought on by a narcissist,  even after the relationship
is over.

******************************************************

All The Rage

In recent years, popular culture has glamorized the
sociopath and narcissist to extreme levels, just as
prior generations lauded and idolized mobsters, cops,
drug dealers, and bank robbers.


Characters on shows such as Dexter, The Shield,
Breaking Bad, Rescue Me, The Sopranos, The Tudors,
and others have captured the imagination of the nation.


Cheering on the villain, especially those like serial killers
and emotionless murderers, rapists, and torturers, seems
the new norm. Remorselessness is in vogue.


Are people simply fascinated?
Fantasizing?
Wanting to emulate and become tougher themselves?


Despite not being able to switch gears and 'become' a
sociopath, is the recent influx in sociopathic and narcissistic
behavior somehow reflective of the culture fascination....a
reflection of a changing moral code? Or are people merely
mimicking what they perceive as power?


Perhaps cultural changes have resulted in an increase in actual
sociopathic tendencies and the TV and movie mediums are
merely accommodating that thirst for like images.

Regardless, life imitates art, and art imitates life, and a love
of inhuman behavior can never lead to any good.

***************************************************

Cross Hairs

Sociopaths take a long time to figure out and recognize
for what they truly are.

They're cunning, patient...working long-range plans
with people. They're seductive and hard to read.

They're chameleons, and master liars.
They see right through to the heart of most folks,
employing psycholgical tactics and saying what we
want to hear... playing us like a banjo.

They distract you with their alluring charm, and they
don't wear emotions on their sleeves (if in fact they
have any.)

Their whole purpose is to use you..and they're quite
skilled at it. They've spent their whole lives in an inner
world of preparing and observing for how to manipulate
others and get what they want.

They actually get a joy from not only making fools of
people (and thus feeling superior,) but from any response
of pain that results.

Once you realize you're in their sights, it's probably quite
late in the game.

**********************************************

Distortions-R-Us

Narcissists and sociopaths manufacture a fictitious
world for themselves by which they try and manipulate
and impress everyone they meet. They are pathological
liars and crave attention, respect, and admiration.


Barring that, they can become vicious and hostile.
People who don't give them 100% praise and adoration
are their 'enemies.'


They promote a lie of their self that no one can compete
with, and they do it so convincingly that you believe it.
Anything you have done, they've done better, more often,
or with a celebrity. Or, to bring you down, they'll critique
how you did it, shoot holes in anything you say, or ignore
you and act unimpressed. This is what makes them feel
complete.


There is no room in a narcissist's world for anyone but them.


They put on a play where they are supra-human in their
abilities, their knowledge, their reach, their achievements.
No one can contend or compete with this illusion, but the
charm of a narcissist--and their complete immersion into the
lie--causes people to buy into their lies.


Sociopaths would rather be praised for lies than take a chance
on how people will respond to the real them. Also, once a
web of deceit has been woven, it's inconceivable to let anyone
find out about it. The orchestrated lies are ingrained and very
intricately kept up with; they rule a narcissist's world.


A narcissist's whole reason for being is tied up in showing
up everyone around them. They do this through a variety
of methods; if they can't convince you they're super-human
so as to impress you, they'll ignore you to try and make you
feel insignificant, or they'll run you down to try and crush your
spirit and esteem.


All the while smiling and acting as if they're not doing so!


It's hard to keep your run-in with a narcissist not turn you
off of the whole of humanity. The ordeal is so numbing and
unbelievable that you feel burned on every level.


But in the end, the reality is that these folks are the worst of
the worst; they are not indicative of people in general.


Learn to be more cautious, less credulous, less open to others'
emotions--either negative or positive.

Nothing is as it Seems

A narcissist works on lies, myths, illusions;

they lie from the ground up,

or they distort what actually is.

They see right through you and everyone

else; they know what makes us tick and they use

that information to pull sway.

They psychologically decimate others--

but surreptitiously, never obvious, so

as to avoid suspicion and make you doubt

yourself, never them.

(And they do target the people they

think they have the best chance of

working over to do their worst work.)

Hell, they can even convince you they're

a good person who cares about you

while they're instilling doubt and undermining you.

That kind of insidiousness is what gives them joy.

(Don't feel bad; this is what they do,

it's what they're good at.

Most people fall prey to their lies.

Think of these people like a super-virus;

even the healthiest person's body isn't

strong enough to stand up to the illness!)

Just like a virus, the entry is

undetected. The takeover is slow

and insidious; you don't even know you're

sick til your feverish and falling over.

It's too late to prevent--

you now have to purge.

The only cure for a sociopath is to get them out of

your head, your life, your surroundings.

That's the only cure; you can't make them

well or change them, but

you can make yourself well by

getting rid of them.

Most importantly, as the

great Benjamin Franklin said,

"Believe none of what you hear,

and half of what you see."

With a narcissist, don't believe

a god damned thing you see, hear, or think.

They've specially targeted everything

they do, say, and act to seduce and use

you. They know what your Achilles'

heel is. Beware.

***

The narcissist has no consideration for anyone but themselves.

They only view others in terms of what they can offer them,
and how to manipulate them to that end.

A narcissist has lies that are easy to spot, if you can remain
objective and stay cool to their charms. What is effective about
a narcissist, though, is that they have a deeply convincing charm
and persuasiveness that can lure the most hardened critics.

They can make you doubt the truth that stands before you...
often even convince you to doubt what you have seen, heard
or thought.

The NPD is a salesman, a seducer, a snake, an ever-changing
and adapting con man who can speak whatever language he
(or she) needs to in order to get what they want.

But their promises are lies, no matter how earnest they seem.

There is no one they care for outside of self.

************************************************

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

An uncompromising--and uncomfortable--interview with perhaps the most
renowned (or at least vocal) narcissist.

A good insight, but it does raise some interesting questions regarding just
how cognizant a narcissist can be, and whether or not there is any hope
for changing...even if they should want to.

(Of course, if they knew that you knew their diagnosis, one that was
personally known to you would likely just pretend to be interested in change
so they could convince you to stay!)

*****************************************************

Who Better For the Job?

Talking with a friend the other night, the subject of the

'narcissist in positions of management' got brought up.

She voiced that she and her coworkers, having worked in

corporations for the last 25 years, continue to marvel at

the type of people who climb the ladder.

The disbelief that people who are so completely not

manager material (zero people skills, unliked by other

workers, no finesse, etc.) get bumped up the chain while

better people get overlooked. Not an isolated phenomenon.

Part of it harkens to erroneous messages we were sent

as kids, tainting our beliefs; The reality is that Good Guys

don't come out on top, and good things don't always happen

if you work hard enough. No matter how obviously corrupt or

ingratiating or brown-nosing...no matter how insincere and ego-

tistical and manipulative and back-stabbing...narcissists in

work situations will always float to the top.

Because all that matters is results, and the people they're

working for don't give a flip about morality or goodness.

Bottom line is all that matters in the working world, and even

a 'decent' top boss will still be swayed by the work output

of someone who stays late, obsesses over details, has no

real concerns or distractions of a loving family (or anyone

that cares about them,) and so on. They're living robots; the

perfect employee.

(Also, being abrasive is typically a tactic employed by socios

to throw off other people; mind games, pissing contest, psyching

you out, etc. They can flip it off to fool a superior and flip it back

on to intimidate coworkers.)

In fact, many times outright wrongdoing will be overlooked

and covered up for the narcissist if their work output is

deemed sufficiently worthwhile. At Citicorp in Tampa, a

sexual assault was covered up, never receiving reprimand

because the man responsible was considered 'irreplaceable.'

The military also has a history of allowing despicable vices to

some of their top minds, so long as they keep producing results.

And the draw of a heavy workload might seem incongruent with

the mentality; why do sociopaths and narcissists want to work

so much? What's the connection?

Well, in addition to being perfectionistic and self-aggrandizing

and obsessive, achievement serves as a replacement for real

emotions and human connectedness.  They will do anything

to get the kind of attention, power, and control that they relish.

They also tend to be very goal-oriented, without getting off

track with relationships, feelings, and other distractions. They

see their map of what they desire, and nothing else will stop

them. Succeeding, proving themselves, showing others up, having

a position over others; they are all rewards from the same plan.

So, long hours and extra tasks are their way of showing how

superior they are to everyone else (don't let the fake smile fool

you,) and the position of authority they get as a result is worth

all that effort. Any means to an end; they are relentless.

It's the perfect job really: who better to perform tasks than

someone without a full life of their own, someone who is not

prey to office politics since they feel no emotions, someone

robotic and unconcerned for the feelings of others, yet someone

who can mimic empathy to at least present the facade of being

professional?

***********************************************

Malignant Narcissism

Definition of a Narcissist

(Taken from http://www.mayoclinic.com/)

((The text in italics is NOT based on the Diagnostics and
Statistics Manual, Fourth Edition-Text Revision (2000).
The text in italics IS based on
"Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited", fourth, revised, printing (2003)


An all-pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behaviour), need
for admiration or adulation and lack of empathy, usually beginning
by early adulthood and present in various contexts. Five (or more) of
the following criteria must be met:

• Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

• Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion

• Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)

• Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply)

• Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations

• Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends

• Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others

• Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her

• Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted

Sifting and Selection

 There's a natural selection within our newer, supposedly
improved, modern civilized world. It's a process that leads
to a top-heavy, sociopath packed, abundance of ne'er-do-
wells at the top of the mountain.

Sociopaths are less likely to give clues as to guilt, and have
no empathy to trip them up, and are therefore less likely
of being discovered of being guilty of crimes. Of those they
considered guilty of, they have designed their cover so well
that the people around them cannot come to believe any
wrong-doing. They are wily and cunning, and can sneak
through any cracks, connive any law man, convince any sap
to lie/cheat/steal or take the rap for them.

If that doesn't work, they can buy off the best lawyers
(and be very smug about their ability to get away with their
deeds by using the system. "Too bad for the rest.")
They can charm and finagle their way into a jury's minds
and sell their B.S. from start to finish. Might even convince
a hardened judge that he himself was the guilty party.

If they should, by some off chance, get to prison, they will
have everyone wrapped around their little fingers by using
their psychological insights and being a chameleon, adapting
to every single personality they come across. Opportunism
is not slowed in prison.

But this is not the likely end result for a narcissist, the careful
planners and shrewd manipulators.

Prison is a way of weeding out the less effective, the less
hardened, less connected, less intelligent, the less charming,
the less ruthless, the more gullible. With the posers and the
wannabees cramped up with incarceration, there is less
competition for the true sociopaths; they are then able to
rise as the cream of the crop.

Either true talent or unbelievable luck keeps the worst of
the narcissists free, but even with luck, the act of simply
getting away with it blows up a sociopath's ego. The longer
they go on uncontested, unstopped, the more invincible and
superior they imagine themselves, and the more lines they cross.

Confidence, boldness, and condescension grows, intimidation
tactics worsen, they believe their own hype, and a super-virus
is born. A virulent hyper-magnified strain, seemingly unstoppable.
Further honing their skills and accomplishment, always needing
to amp their game and test their abilities, never satisfied with
their last conquest.

And on it goes....

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Chicken or the Egg?

Just the other day I found myself in a discussion with
someone wondering the same thing I have; Is the
preponderance of powerful people with narcissism
indicative of those folks being drawn to those positions,
or do people become that way after becoming involved
in high level jobs/positions?

I think, really, it's rather a  moot point. The reality seems
easily evidenced that there is a direct correlation between
sociopathy and power.

It's safe to say that people who want constant approval
and accolades are going to be drawn to high stakes and
high rewards work.

Also easy to note that manipulators and con men and liars
do very well in politics, the boardroom, and the church.

So is it safe to say that these high-ranking positions of
control are tailor-made for someone who only mimics
human emotion but is not bound by it? That the ability
to separate from other people and work tirelessly on a
fanaticized goal is actually of benefit to those who manage
and puppeteer things at the top?

The fighting spirit, the ruthlessness, the 'by any means
necessary' attitude which has come to be synonymous with
corporate greed and commercialism is now the American
pass time. Tough choices, nonplussed by decisions, never
apologizing...these all suit a business person well.

And 'not looking back' certainly helps a sociopath get
ahead. Even if there was a chance they'd feel remorse
when looking back to see all the damage left in their wake.

The common thread in the leaders of our superficially
ideal society is that a pretty face is put on things while the
dark and insane realities of the inner workings makes a
hot dog production line look pleasant. Churches, law
enforcement, government, politics, business, and all the
rest have a selfish, devious, cunning approach to making
sure their agenda is done, and those being imposed upon
think it was actually their own idea!

So, did the people create the system, or did the system
create the people? And how on earth do we get out from
under this self-perpetuating monstrosity?

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Narcissistic Parents

By Any Other Name

You might can imagine several other possible blog names for this site;

By Any Means Unnecessary.
The Beautiful Lie.
Me, Myself, and I.
They Who Know No Other.
Dead Inside.
Liars, Cons, & Users.
The Hollow Reflection.
Human Quicksand.
(and many, many more.)

It seems that narcissists and sociopaths are multiplying.

Maybe it's the times; perhaps after TV and film
fascination with such characters, people are emulating 
them in greater numbers. Maybe it's just a matter of
being more openly discussed. Perhaps the media-based
generations have allowed us to access one another
and compare notes on Tricky Bastards where once
we might just have considered these folks "ladies men"
or "good businessmen" or, just as likely, "successful."

Here's where I will reveal the tactics of the sociopath
and do my best to share how to spot them, how to keep
from being used and abused by one, how to strengthen
yourself, and how to recuperate from having known one
already.

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