A Perfect Fit

Sociopaths tend towards spousal and child abuse (when they

have set their sights on long-term relationships.) Since their own

needs reign supreme, they have no interest in the needs of

others, making the escalation to emotional and physical abuse

an easy one.

They're unaware of and unconcerned with others, and they can

justify their own actions at every turn.

And, after having committed an act of abuse, they utilize the victim's

own codependency--which they depended on to manipulate their

vic into a vulnerable position to begin with--to convince them that

they were to blame!

The predator convinces his/her vic that the socio's needs trump the

pain and hurt of the victim. The sense of superiority and deservedness

of the sociopath is reestablished, and the socio continues to rule the

roost...while the vic walks on eggshells and caters to their ego.

Breaking free of the socio's stranglehold on

the vic's thinking, actions, and perspective is

necessary before the vic(s) can then take action

to distance themselves and escape the cycle of abuse.

***

Enchante'

 

Sociopaths are Masters of the flourish, providing a torrent

of special attention and excitement that their charm and

manipulation make seem as real as your own breath.

 

In the face of all these enhanced emotions and 'perfect' human

response, little else can compare (which is, after all, exactly

the point.)

 

That attention and kindness most of us seek for a lifetime
(or, conversely, never imagined could possibly be real) is
there in front of you, hand-delivered, and specially tailored.

But it isn't real. It's a facade. A scam.

Temporary insanity. And the kind of fantasy that makes
real life disappointing to come back to. (Which is one reason
people make excuses to stay with a narcissist; because the
roller coaster ride isn't always down, and the thrill of it all is
addictive.)

The relationship is not just sick in one direction; it is a
symbiotic unhealthy relation. There is a desperation and a
neediness inherent in the relationship between socio and
victim; almost a reversal of the one between host and
parasite.

Beyond the bill of goods, beyond the trance, beyond the
romanticization of even their pain and sickness, there
is truth. The sickly, neurotic, dangerous, hurtful truth that
must be confronted and accepted before detachment is
possible.

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Why Victims of Narcissists Can't Let Go

No better voice for the malignant narcissist than one who is.

(Narcissists are so loathe to admit who they are, or share their
secrets, so having Sam reveal the underbelly is quite helpful.

He says so much more succinctly--and directly--about what it
means to deal with getting beyond the lasting toxicity and
confusion brought on by a narcissist,  even after the relationship
is over.

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